BROOKE ANTHONY

I found this excellent m4w add on Craigslist, and just had to share.
Title: I want to f**k my landlord in the worst way!!!!! – m4w (Nassau by the mall)

“I wish she would come down, check the fuse box, or whatever… I want so bad to throw you down on the bed pull your clothes off, kiss and lick you all over, eat you out forever til you squirt all over me with your love juices….feel your sweet spanish mouth deep around me, making love until you have to leave……you have an amazing body and sweet perosnality, hot ass, pretty face…the whole package…I could fall for you…”

I can see it now, this guy probably just went out and bought every surge protector at Home Depot- and as I type this he plugs in every appliance known to man, in order to blow some fuses. If it was winter, he would probably decorate his apartment like Clark Griswold in Christmas Vacation. I have a feeling there is a reason the landlord doesn’t come down to that apartment. I picture a dark den…cold, musty…$650 a month…rent due on the first of the month by 9 am…hungry eyes yearning for some sweet spanish mouth and waiting to tear some ass up. Could you imagine being the landlord and stumbling upon this? I would probably invest in a case of pepper spray and some Tiger Schulmans martial arts classes (I hear he works wonders).

On behalf of Brooke Anthony and the Lunchbox, we would like to send a warm thank you to the crackhead that broke into two of the fleet.

We made the newspaper, but I decided to re-do the article to my liking.

POUGHKEEPSIE, NEW YORK- Two vehicle break-ins were reported in the City of Poughkeepsie this morning. One of the break-ins occurred on North Randolph Avenue and the other one took place on Underhill Avenue, according to Poughkeepsie city police. Both vehicles were unlocked. Brooke Anthony, 23 of Hyde Park says “We are going to find those motherfuckers, and they are going to pay. No one fucks with the lunchbox, yall dont say that.” Residents are reminded not to leave items of value in their vehicles and to secure their vehicles at all times. “This is a free fucking country, If i wanna leave my shit unlocked- I will do so.” As for the criminal? Brooke says “You can run, but you can’t hide- this isn’t New York city- but we hustle harder than Harlem here in Upstate New York- baddest mother fuckers you will ever meet.”

What was supposed to be an insane week turned blah.  The shoot for HV mag got pushed back, so It will be friday. Tomorrow is going to be the longest day of my life. I really hope my back feels better. I woke up this morning and it hurt so bad- I think I may have a pinched nerve. Thank god Meghan was here to help me out. I laid on the floor in the livingroom demanding back rubs and aleve. I have the movie shoot tomorrow in Manhattan for Drew Barrymore’s new movie “Going the Distance”. Standing in heels for 9 hours straight tomorrow is going to be no bueno. 11:30 AM call time and we shoot for about 8-9 hours. Then straight from the shoot to the Style StepOut event until Midnight. Open bar will be sounding pretty frickin’ good after a long shoot. OPEN BAR! can’t wait to hang with some fab New York girls! ) I swear, i’m spending more time in Manhattan that I ever have before. I keep getting sucked in! But you have to make progress to get places. I have a feeling all the events from this weekend are really going to change things for me, in a very good, exciting way

PS: i’m not nude. I was wearing a tube dress

Last weeks comments and concerns were excellent people, this week we have some new ones.

With that said, tonight is a very special night at the Lunchbox. We have John Giannetti reading off the comments.

“Please stop the Wu-Tang, save a white girl”

“#1 Priority: The Sibian”

“Alot more nudity female (Again)”

“Paintball”

“Bring back sunday BREFFIX”

“Universal Remote”

“Spankins”

“Mechanical Bull and a hot dog cart…maybe even a slushy machiene”

“Sofa bed with pillows, blankets, etc- delivery service to and from Elizaville”

“Glowstick night”

“Pillow Fights”

Lets make it happen!!!!!!!!

Go see any movie you are in.

Could he get any hotter?

Caffeine first thing in the morning makes my heart flutter. That would probably be a bad thing. Dunkin’ Donuts iced tea with lemon, unsweetened is pure heart attack- but I love it. I’m off the artificial sweetener, and have developed an addiction to seltzer. I’m not even kidding you- I crave it. It’s the weirdest thing ever- who craves seltzer? seriously.

I’ve been so drained lately. For some reason I partied sunday night- then slept for 3 1/2 hours- went to Six Flags, got home at close to midnight, then woke up at 6 am to get ready for my audition. Went to Staples to get my headshots printed, and had to deal with this midget with a punky brewster haircut circa 1983. I walked in at about 8:40 am, and there were three people just sitting there doing nothing.

Me: “Hi, I just need a few pictures printed, you guys do that here right?”

Midget: “Uh, yeah. But they aren’t going to come out good”

At this point, I pause and think to myself- “who says that?”

Me: “Ok well I need pictures printed”

Midget: “UM OK WELL FOLLOWWWW MEEEE”

Me: ” I need these 10 printed please”

Midget: “You know thats going to cost you 10 dollars, right?”

At this point, i’m really thinking I can’t afford 10 dollars worth of pictures. (Sarcasm)

Midget: (As last photo prints) “You know you can’t just walk in here and expect me to print pictures, right?”

Me: “Okay”

Midget: “$10.65″

I hand her $11.00, then ask for the dollar back because I have the change. She refuses.

The moral of the story is- If you hate your job, then get a new one. If you hate your life, end it. I’m kidding, I’m kidding.

Train ride down to the city was amazing yesterday! There were puppies on the train! Lab puppies. So cute. At first I didn’t see them, then as I sat down I saw a tail under my seat. So cute. They where in training to become seeing eye dogs. That is amazing. Animals really are so smart. Also- I need to get a dolphin asap. I went to Six Flags on Monday and saw the dolphin show. They are so smart it’s not even funny. It literally blows my mind. What also blows my mind- Six Flags lied to all that watch its commercials. Don’t be fooled by the “all new bizzaro coaster” it should really be “come take a look at the medusa coaster with a new paint job” lies. Filthy, dirty, lies.

My Dreamworks audition yesterday went good! It was quick- but good. Just had to read a script- now I have to wait for a call back. Whenever the hell that happens- if it even does. Fingers crossed! After the audition I went shopping- and made a pit stop at the cupcake stop. What an amazing idea. (www.cupcakestop.com) $2.50 for a COCONUT CREAM- but well worth it.  I love me some cuppercakers.

What a weekend. Nothing short of amazing. Razor scooters, pirate costumes, luau costumes, bird hats, waterballons, glowsticks, comment boxes, vodka, captain jack, cheese fights, broken glass, multiple iPods and people blacking out. Let’s just put it this way- close to 5 am came too soon.

Shake the glitter off your clothes now, thats what you get for waking up at the lunch box….

It’s time to take a look into the box.

Some of the suggestions include:

“Alot more nudity (female)”

“central air”

“more fish in the tank”

“less Wu-tang, more Cuando”

“cleaner blankets that don’t smell like Lucky’s ass”

“Chicken Nugget Tuesdays”

“to have an outdoor festival at least every week. (fridays)”

“back yard festivals”

“please flush the toilet”

“more delicate t.p”

“open mic night”

“surge protectors for charging hubs in the livingroom”

“bigger parking spaces”

“stripper pole”

“bigger kictchen”

“dookie digits” (even though thats more of a saying)”

“New ashtray”

“faster internet with high speed color printer”

Let’s make this happen guys.

Unbelievable day.

My grandmother was diagnosed with cancer a few months back, now two surgeries later- she is cancer free. Amazing news, we where positive we were going to hear the worst. But things are looking up, and that’s nothing short of amazing.

As for me, the Best of Westchester event was amazing last night. Red Carpet, manicures, pedicures, massages, and……..SWAG. SAAA-WAG! Chloe got the most swag- they had a ritzy dog treat maker there so samples where snatched up in a second! The view was amazing at the club, the music was awesome too. All that and Dan got me a rose! and held my drink(s). How sweet.

I have an appointment with Dreamworks on Tuesday to audition to be an extra voice in a movie. Amazing! Progress is key. Life is really looking promising right now.

Live, Life, Love.

xo