BROOKE ANTHONY

Sometimes getting a good hold on life is a little overwhelming. I felt like I’ve reached that point- and it’s nice.

Tonight I made a stop at my Grandmothers house, just to catch up and talk. With all good news comes bad news, I also had to tell her about me leaving the U.S. for a month, and not being home for Christmas. I come from a small family, so things like this really tend to be hard to deal with especially during the holidays. But surprisingly, I got a dose of reality after I told her. No tears- just reality.

“Well, I understand. You have your own life now”. What?! seriously?! I have my own life now? Amazing. I’ve only had to wait almost 24 years for this own life. “It’s going to be a great experience for you” did you seriously just say that!? Just when I was starting to feel as though anything I did in life was not a good choice- I get thrown this. I’m thrilled that finally my wings are no longer clipped and I’m being taken for the person I really am.

I love to travel, and I love my boyfriend. So going to Germany is just the right thing to do at this stage in the game. The industry is just so unpredictible, and it seems as though nothing is ever guaranteed- at least things i’m involved with. I’m motivated, but the work out there is always changing. That’s very unsettling to me, and while I deal with all of that unpredictability and put things in my life on hold- my life is flashing by me and one day i’m going to reach a point of no return.

I’m thrilled that for the first time in a few years, I’m actually living- and living with no regrets. I’m with someone who makes me regret nothing- and that’s an amazing feeling. I feel full, and I feel like I have everything I need in life. With that said, I’m going to gauge my life on my past experiences- and I have to say- I couldn’t be any better. I was in a prior shitty relationship with a guy who was all talk, and when it came to drinking got out of control and abusive- and also cried like a 4 year old child the next morning because he had no idea of the things he had done. I can now go out and enjoy myself- have a glass of wine with dinner, even go out to a bar and drink all night if I wanted to- and don’t have to live in the fear of who I’m with snapping and going after me at any given moment.

I often find myself comparing my life to a year ago and my life now, and it’s taken a drastic- amazing turn for the better. I’m doing things I’ve always wanted to do but couldn’t. And better yet, I’m able to experience these things with someone I really care about and truly love.

Life is amazing.